stage: 5

How to tell if your parent is genuinely settled in their care home — beyond what they can say

Happiness in a care home with dementia does not always look the way families expect. A parent may not be able to say they are happy, and distress during visits does not always mean unhappiness between visits. Signs that someone is settling and comfortable include: eating reasonably well, sleeping more consistently, engaging with staff or other residents in small ways, appearing calm rather than agitated, and not showing signs of physical neglect. Staff who know your parent by name, who can tell you how they spent their morning and what they enjoyed, are a reliable indicator of a home paying attention. If you visit at different times and on different days you get a more honest picture than a regular scheduled visit allows. Trust your observations over time more than any single visit.